Before I found out I was pregnant, I didn’t want kids; and if I did, not until I was at least 30. I’ve always had a wanderlust spirit, and the world had so much adventure to offer me. Being completely honest, I was even questioning if I was able to have children, and was contemplating going in for a fertility test because I knew that if I couldn’t have kids, it would change the way I was living my life completely.
The day I found out I was pregnant changed my life. I remember my doctor babbling on about I’m not even sure what after she told my I was pregnant, and the part I do recall is her mentioning if I want to talk about my options, I would need to make a decision soon. That was so weird to me, until I later realized what she meant. I tried to force myself to weigh all of the options I had, but if I’m being completely honest, I knew I was keeping the baby the moment she told me I was pregnant. I can’t tell you how or why, but that’s the way it was – I just knew.
Everyone has always told me that when you become a Mom, it’s like a little switch is turned on inside you. I could never really fully understand that, until day I learned I would be a Mom. It’s like something it my brain completely switched from this care-free life to that of making every single decision with another person in my mind, a person that wasn’t even here yet. Every decision I made was based on how it would effect my unborn child. And it was SO easy. Life was no longer about me anymore, and it was so much easier to make decisions for someone other than me. I started to make goals in all different areas of my life without question or second guessing each decision I made.
From there I spent the next 5 months (I didn’t find out I was pregnant until I was 4 months along) preparing for baby and growing into this new role I would soon takeover. I can honestly say it was the second best experience of my life. The first actually being a Mom to my beautiful baby girl, Emma. I have to admit, I had a very easy pregnancy and labor. I didn’t have any symptoms – no morning sickness, no fatigue, no swollen body parts. I was all baby, I didn’t gain weight anywhere else other than my belly. When I finally went into labor (2 weeks early), my contractions were the worst part of it. I stuck out full blown contractions from 7PM until 3:30AM. Once my contractions began, within 45 minutes they were coming every 3 minutes if not sooner. At 3:30AM I requested the epidural because of how exhausted I was (I had been feeling off the 2 days before hand, and didn’t get much sleep those two nights, plus entire day of the work the day I went into labor). At 5:30AM I began to push, and at 5:45AM on December 29, 2016 the world welcomed my girl, Emma Riann Olson. I wish I could put into words all of the emotions that flew through me in that moment. It is the most amazing day/moment/experience of my life.
In that moment, I was no longer just Taylor. I was now Taylor the Mom and I wouldn’t anything for the world. I went from this person who didn’t really want kids, to this person who couldn’t imagine life not being a Mom. Every single day I get to watch this amazing human being that grew inside me learn, grown, and experience the beauty of life. I get to shower this little girl with the kind of love the rest of this world needs to experience. For the rest of my life, I never need to worry about being alone or not having love in my life, because I brought the truest form into this world: a child.
Being a Mom (or a Dad) is an experience unlike any other, and I don’t think I could truly put into words the happiness it brings into your life. My worst days are instantly better when I get home and see Emma; my best days are even better when with her. I used to be so scared of the idea of “giving up my life” to be a parent. But I really don’t see it that. Now I get to spend the rest of my life, showing Emma the beauty of the world — what more could I ask for?
A year and a half later, my life is nowhere near what I pictured it to be, but it is so much better. Watching Emma grow has been the most amazing experience of my life. Some days are really hard, some days I want to throw the towel in, some days I want to give up — but hearing one little laugh or seeing one little smile turns the entire day around and gives me the motivation to keep pushing forward.
So to any young adult out there that questions the idea of a child like I once used to, just know – it is okay! You are entitled to live your life and take care of only you as long as you want to! But if you ever find yourself in the position where you are going to become a parent – don’t be scared. You are about to embark on the most amazing journey life has to offer. The strength, motivation, love, and happiness that comes out of you is unlike any other you will ever experience.
If you are or will be a parent in the future, and ever find yourself needing a support system, please please please don’t hesitate to reach out to me! We all need support/someone to lean on.